*Ewan ko ba. Patay na patay ako sa kanya nun ala "Richard Gutierrez" ang tingin ko sa kanya. Dati yun.
Fed, as everybody fondly calls him, isn't exactly the best looking guy on campus. Intelligent and talented, though not exceptional. He fancied band music, skateboarding, etc. He was simple and that was what I liked about him being this "nice guy" to have around.
I only noticed him during our Junior year and barely had a chance to get to know him for he was in a different section. An opportunity arose for the auditions for the COCC ^^. My father, had this dream of me becoming a soldier (LOL) so it was like achieving two things at once. Be with Fed, please my father. So once a week, every after school I had the chance to interact with him during auditions.
Cheesy, but for some reason we paired up during the "initiation" and was blind folded. I remember we were even mocked "to kiss" (LOL). I barely moved of course. The most disgusting part was that we had to collect spit in a cup and were made to believe we had to "drink" it later on.
Moving on, I got a higher rank ^^
The senior year was a lot better (for me) for we finally became classmates. ^^ Things got a little "complicated" when this new girl, Crystal came in and I was the first to meet her at the gate.
Long story short. I liked Fed, Fed liked Crystal, I can't have Fed, so I slowly nudged the idea to Crystal to go out with him. She also had girlfriend, Margaret, whom she "paired" up with me. (I used to cry over what I had to do but now it's just funny).
So they became a couple. I was the common friend. I just wanted to see them happy.
(so they have confirmed they weren't officially a couple, fine. I was bitter and hurt back then over the idea LOL)
We were in our final year and graduating. College was also an issue. I wanted to be with Fed longer if possible. When I heard he was enrolling at Mapua, I signed up as well though I really had no inclination to computers and engineering AT ALL. Fortunately, I passed the examination in UST and it was far more difficult and my course was "prestigious" at the time. I didn't pursue Mapua.
I wanted to spend as much time as I can with Fed. Made it a point to get a copy of his graduation pic, to actually stand next to him on the batch photo, to be there on his birthday celebration at KFC, the concert at PSBA etc etc etc. I remember we were also the only two guys who "passed" an aptitude test in our class. I even kept quiz papers he corrected, or his quiz paper if I could steal it (LOL). We even teamed up in composing our entry for the graduation song.
I used to always make it a point to sit next to him during the First Friday mass so I'd get the chance to hold his hand even for a few minutes during the Our Father song (style!?). The closest thing Fed and I had to a "date" was when we shared goto (congee? porridge? ^^) near computer shop across the school. I once embarrassed myself when I blushed in class when I thought of him.
I only noticed him during our Junior year and barely had a chance to get to know him for he was in a different section. An opportunity arose for the auditions for the COCC ^^. My father, had this dream of me becoming a soldier (LOL) so it was like achieving two things at once. Be with Fed, please my father. So once a week, every after school I had the chance to interact with him during auditions.
Cheesy, but for some reason we paired up during the "initiation" and was blind folded. I remember we were even mocked "to kiss" (LOL). I barely moved of course. The most disgusting part was that we had to collect spit in a cup and were made to believe we had to "drink" it later on.
Moving on, I got a higher rank ^^
The senior year was a lot better (for me) for we finally became classmates. ^^ Things got a little "complicated" when this new girl, Crystal came in and I was the first to meet her at the gate.
Long story short. I liked Fed, Fed liked Crystal, I can't have Fed, so I slowly nudged the idea to Crystal to go out with him. She also had girlfriend, Margaret, whom she "paired" up with me. (I used to cry over what I had to do but now it's just funny).
So they became a couple. I was the common friend. I just wanted to see them happy.
(so they have confirmed they weren't officially a couple, fine. I was bitter and hurt back then over the idea LOL)
We were in our final year and graduating. College was also an issue. I wanted to be with Fed longer if possible. When I heard he was enrolling at Mapua, I signed up as well though I really had no inclination to computers and engineering AT ALL. Fortunately, I passed the examination in UST and it was far more difficult and my course was "prestigious" at the time. I didn't pursue Mapua.
I wanted to spend as much time as I can with Fed. Made it a point to get a copy of his graduation pic, to actually stand next to him on the batch photo, to be there on his birthday celebration at KFC, the concert at PSBA etc etc etc. I remember we were also the only two guys who "passed" an aptitude test in our class. I even kept quiz papers he corrected, or his quiz paper if I could steal it (LOL). We even teamed up in composing our entry for the graduation song.
I used to always make it a point to sit next to him during the First Friday mass so I'd get the chance to hold his hand even for a few minutes during the Our Father song (style!?). The closest thing Fed and I had to a "date" was when we shared goto (congee? porridge? ^^) near computer shop across the school. I once embarrassed myself when I blushed in class when I thought of him.
Mobile phones were becoming popular back then and I heard that "business cards" were an anonymous way of sending messages (or so I thought) so I realized it was my chance to tell him how I feel and it didn't matter to me if he knew whom it was from. I just had to say it.
Long story short. He was using a different phone model. The business card thing only works for Nokia. WTF
I heard he was "traumatized". A friend even told me they made fun of my photo back then during the Christmas get together (and of course I wasn't invited). I was hurt tenfold. Roi (common friend), took this as a chance to do his mischief and "avenge" Fed so he vandalized a bus to write my number for sexually themed ads (FYI, as of now, I don't need your help anymore hehehe).
I had one last phone call to speak with Fed, and he told me "Let's pretend we don't know each other anymore". Take tenfold pain multiplied by ten. I had nothing to say but sorry, though to me, I don't think I have done him wrong for I was genuinely sincere towards him.
*to be continued....
I still don't want to believe this shit happens.
ReplyDeleteBut then that could only be because I pledged not to like even in the slightest a guy that I know is straight.
Hugs, buddy.