Friday, December 4, 2015


He spoke about it before with a sparkle in his eye and it never waned. I know he wanted it. Badly.

The company will be expanding in the southern city and being a member of the training department will eventually require expansion and/or relocation.

My condition was very simple. If you go there, we'll break up. Period.

I am not being a jerk. I know what it would mean to his career. Heck, the place is even a stone throw away from Boracay so you could practically be in party paradise every weekend?

We talked about it before. I even jokingly said, his manager would have to arrange a meeting with me and the dogs. I am keeping the dogs by the way.

But then the real issue would be I am anticipating he will slip sooner or later. I would rather not be complacent with this matter. You know, it did happen recently right under my nose and I thought everything was going smoothly.

So I said to him, while still in bed:

"I am going to tell you how I think... I don't really wish to hamper your career growth. I know it will be exciting to pioneer something in a new place. But then, place into perspective ... the Patrick incident.

At a time when,
I thought all is well
We made love every now and then
We eat and sleep together
I kiss you when I leave and arrive from work
We go out on weekends

... and then a Patrick was hidden all along in between those times we were together.

So how can I be so sure this time that I would be miles away?

I'm sure you'll be meeting someone there. You will have needs. We can't afford flying to and from Manila every weekend, that would be quite exhausting as well."

Joms only replied: "I understand and I thought you already trusted me."

He got up from bed and prepped for work.

I never replied to that but in my head "I would rather not risk it. You haven't been to that kind of situation for me to have confidence you can endure. Besides, this is your first time in a same sex relationship, the longest even to date."

I have seen myself miserable before.

I have seen myself breakdown in sorrow and disappointment.

Why take a risk of getting hurt again when I can just let go now?

Self preservation.

I managed to be alone before. I can do it again. I would rather not be miserable and hurting.