Friday, March 30, 2012

Digital Lapida

Kulang pa rin siguro sa gasgas ang "health is wealth". Kamakailan lang, nabalitaan na lang namin sa opisina na ang pagkamatay ng training supervisor dahil sa surgical complications. Sayang. Hindi man lang siya umabot sa 40s? 

Hindi naman kami super close, pero in a way, idol ko siya. Paano, puro na lang siya designer items mula ulo hanggang paa? Perry Ellis na shirt, Cavalli jeans, LV belt, Bulgari jewelry, Prada shoes, Birkin bag, Philip Stein watch, at of course di papahuli ang gadgets na iPads (yes 2 sila), Macbook, iPhones (oo, ikr), at BB Torch.

Kung kukwentahin siguro lahat ng dala niya sa isang araw, lalampas siguro ng bahagya ng 1M. Imagine. Pangarap pa raw niya bumili ng isang Porsche before the end of the year. IKAW NA TALAGA !!!

Pero... nasaan na siya ngayun? Huling beses na nakita ko siya, sobrang payat, dry skin, wala na siyang boses halos. Wala rin nagawa ang pera niya?

Kasalukuyan akong naglilinis ng inbox, saka ko napansin na huling usap namin sa FB chat eh January pa. Hindi na rin mabuksan ang profile niya. Last time I checked napuno ng mga dedication at pictures etc ang wall niya. Kung meron man akong natutunan sa pagbabasa ko, sa "Tuesdays with Morrie" mas gusto ko na marinig yung mga magagandang eulogy habang buhay pa ako? 

Pero teka, anu ba talaga ang big deal sa akin???

Wala na yung profile niya.

"Bakit kailangan madelete yung profile?", tanung ko. "Malalaman ba ng FB na, hmmm, mejo matagal na huling login mo? Bibigyan ka ba niya ng ultimatum na on or before _____ pag di ka nagsign in goodbye na sa profile mo?".

Nakita ng friend ko kung gaano ako kaapektado.

JM: "Eh patay na nga siya di ba? FB is a social networking site. Paano ka naman makipag socialize kung patay ka na?"

Seth: "Eh yun nga ang issue ko eh?! Bakit nila binura? Paano na yung social factor?"

JM: *Awkward silence. Taas isang kilay*

Naweirduhan yata sa akin. Social factor sa patay. Ang scary di ba?

Seth: "Paano na yung pictures niya? Yung tagged photos? Yung friends niya? Paano kung di naman sila close at magkakakilala? How are they going to grieve together and share stuff about the person if they removed the only link which is the profile?!"

Wala na nasabi si JM. Masama akong kadebate pag hysterical? LOLs

Siguro ayaw ko lang patayin yung memories. Yung kahit kailan, kung gugustuhin ko, pwede ko pang balikan at tingnan ulit kapag ready na ako. 

You don't own the memories yourself. 

Rest in Peace Benj and to my puppy Donut :'(

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Just No.

I won't be entertaining invitations to gatherings.
I won't be giving out my mobile number to anybody.
I won't be adding people on Facebook/Twitter.

Relationships are messy.
Let's keep it writer-reader only ok?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

New tongue

One of the main reasons why I wish to get promoted is to finally have the time to squeeze in to study a new language. My English proficiency has allowed me to survive so far (aka getting employed) but as seen through my recent IELTS exam, I still have a lot to work on reading and writing (thus, le blog).

I have several friends though who are currently taking language classes, but I can't seem to put a finger as to which one I really want? There was a time I chose Chinese Mandarin for the sole purpose of business and not that hard to find someone to converse with? But as I did my Math, unless I really studied in a Chinese school, it would probably take me another lifetime to patch up reading, writing, and speaking all at the same time since they are offered as separate skills altogether (thus, making it more expensive).

Spanish seems practical? Closest we could probably have in our culture. I tried to mimic a couple of phrases... and I didn't fall in love with it. Mandarin, looked appropriate somehow to my chinky eyes. I could probably get away with it. Only that it sounded far too nasal for me to distinguish sounds at all?


I'm gonna try something else... 

With all my obsession with Lili, why not try French? :)

I already Googled as to where in Manila I could find authentic instructors that are somewhat affiliated by the French embassy.

... now I just have to earn the money?

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Fighting my Demons

Quiet, would be an understatement. I have been literally trying to live under a rock for the past few months trying to focus as much as I can in performing well at work and aiming for that promotion. I am finally regularized in the company, with an excellent scorecard and attendance for February, everything should be running smoothly now... me thinks.

I have also tried several things to unclutter my life. 

1. Trim down my Facebook friends; avoid all friends' dramas from showing on my wall; clear my inbox; and oh, I hate that Timeline thing that you can never revert back.

2. Deleted all gay profiles, even the dummy ones. Seriously. So 18k views in a year + 60 or so raunchy comments from guys I slept with... I think it's time to give up the crown.

3. I finally stopped hoarding clothes and plushies which only collect dust and molds in the room. Some of them, I haven't even taken out of the plastic. I already gave away 25% of the stuff in my closet to charities and relief operations. 

4. I finally stopped hoarding products (e.g facial washes, body washes, lotions) and actually used them. One at a time. I noticed my skin wasn't as moist as it used to be since I changed products almost on a daily basis.

5. I chose to maintain only two numbers, one of which is only for business, but the other I don't load as often as I used to. In addition, I won't be buying a new celfone anytime soon.

6. I stopped hoarding pens and noteboooks, and actually started writing on them? Perhaps the desk calendar was the best stationery I invested. I can see on a daily basis how much I have accomplished, what is the nearest date I should look forward to etc.

7. I stopped hoarding food. I only buy what I can finish within 2-3 days and I do try to eat healthier now. 

8. I clean up more often. My room is spotless on most days. Gone is the clutter of clothes on the floor (and I actually know now where to find my stuff)

9. I have practiced on keeping my mouth shut. Though I am still quite prone to sudden bursts due to stress, there is nothing more stressful than damage control over something you have said or done which wasn't well thought of...

10. I have started to love myself more...