Wednesday, April 3, 2013

So you wanna tie the knot....

So I've been seeing a lot of this everywhere and a lot of people are pushing through for gay marriage.


So given we were given an equal opportunity, what's next?

I wish to hear answers related to social responsibility.

One word. Parenthood.

I expect a little give and take. Not so that just some can have their ceremony.


  1. Quote from Lea Salonga:

    This is not a religious issue: it is a civil rights issue. It’s about making sure that under the law, two consenting adults may legally form a bond along with all the bells and whistles that come with it. It’s ensuring that, should one partner pass on, all properties go to the surviving spouse; that their children become beneficiaries to whatever inheritance there will be. It is also an assurance that, should one partner fall ill, the other will not be banned from the hospital room to visit. This has happened in the United States. There are survivors of 15, 20, 25-year unions that are instantly cut off because the law does not recognize their union. They have no protection in the eyes of the law. Justice in these cases is not served.

    Read more:

  2. Ok.

    So I'v read the article, but perhaps the main difference between here and the US, based on that context is:

    i. they share equal rights to properties once they are in a legal bond

    ii. THEY HAVE CHILDREN, one thing that I have been wanting to hear as a sense of responsibility after being given a chance to conjoin.

    iii. banned from the hospital to visit? but why? under what circumstance would that even happen here?

    iv. stable unions. that's a pretty rare argument a few couples can argue with. quite seldom do MSM relationships last more than a year

    Thanks for sharing though, but Lea Salonga has not convinced me yet this is something truly worth fighting for.

    I need something more concrete.

  3. Let me have a shot at this:

    i. equal rights to properties.
    A friend has a partner here in the philippines who passed away. THey lived together for more than 10 years. The partner's family got everything, even the things my friend invested in. Is this fair for us?
    Aren't we just protecting the rights of our partners to have the things that we worked hard for?

    ii Children.
    Okay. I think the argument here is if a same sex couple CAN be good role models for raising children. Let me put this aside for the meantime.
    One idea against same sex marriage is that we can't procreate. Then would you wed a man and a woman who are beyond their reproductive years? While we're at it, why wed barren couples? Then what is marriage then? And why can't same sex couples have the same rights?
    Gearing back to raising kids, has there ever been a study that shows straight couples raise better children than same sex couples?
    Even the American Psychological Society has backed up same sex parenting.

    iii. Hospital Visits.
    There are critical situations where only family is allowed to visit the patient. We have a relaxed policy on this, but the immediate family can still block you out of the hospital in your partner's death bed.
    Also, let's say i have a partner for x number of years, and i want him to be a benificiary of my HMO, i simply can't. So if something happens to my partner, we'd have to shell out the money. And that's something some people can't afford.
    In cases of life insurances, i still can't put my partner as a beneficiary. The closest thing that I can do is have a direct relative sign something that says s/he can't hoard my money that I want my partner to have in case something hapens to me. Though, this would still be a technicality in court.

    iv. stable unions.
    Trust me, dear. There are same sex relationships that have endured the test of time. I think the common idea is they don't really "advertise" it. Oh. Boy Abunda and Bong Quintana have been together for more than 30 years.

    In the Philippines, it's cultural. We have never been adaptive to change, or open minded at the very least. Even members of our community is against marriage. Do we still perceive ourselves as inferior to our straght counterparts?

    Then don't call it marriage. Call it a civil union. Call it domestic partnership. Call it and affidavit of common law. Call it a gay contract. Call it whatever you want. All I ask is that the law acknowledges that we are two consenting adults that want to share things legally.

    All I want is to have the same tax rights, property rights, parenting rights and legal rights as a couple.

    Don't do this for yourself. Do this to help gay couples have equal rights.

  4. thanks Lanchie for a more substantial argument :)

    i. equal rights to properties

    the scenario you've presented with your friend. didn't they have any contract or documentation regarding the ownership of such properties? that would primarily be the legal basis as to whom shall take ownership of the properties, not necessarily the family. one can invest as much time and effort on the properties but if your name is not on any documentation, even a last will and testament, your friend will not have any rights into the property regardless of their relationship.

    ii. children

    perhaps i wasn't specific with my stand. one thing that i was actually aiming for is that these gay couples should also be mandated to adopt children as part of their social contribution to society.

    iii. hospital and health insurance

    perhaps i failed to consider this since we both have jobs and HMOs anyway

    iv. stable relationships

    well, there are but are quite rare. the fact that same sex couples are able to live together without persecution compared to other countries is already some form of tolerance and freedom. but hey? im all in for additional tax exemption anyway

  5. When a person dies without a will, inheritance distribution according to the laws of intestacy is followed.

  6. I would but the question is would he? Even if we get the right to marry the one we love, would the society understand? Would our families accept the person we chose to tie the knot with? They've been telling us that we have the right to marry in the first place but marrying a girl just to fulfill a right is different from marrying someone you love. These considerations may prevent us from tying the knot and I hope these will be addressed.