Monday, August 22, 2011

Teach me How to Date (duh)

There are some things that I'd rather shrug off and let pass but when I can see that silence wouldn't be resolving anything, it's always better to tell the truth. I have always been regarded as someone who's completely "tactless" but then there are people who would appreciate to hear it, than actually bear with whatever they thought they are doing is right all along.

Sure, you might be a "nice" guy. Pero yung aggressions mo are soo suppressed.

So I have dated two people from my blog, we all know how the Tiddy Burr turned out. Watch out.

Then there's this other guy................

He's better is a lot of other ways really.

A little older than myself.
Neat looking.
Acts like a gentleman. Acts.

He had been insinuating the idea of us meeting until one night I finally gave in and asked him out for a late dinner. Before we met, I also gave him the same courtesy to read his blog posts from the beginning. From what he wrote I had this idea of:

A corporate yuppy
someone who likes to party
drives his own wheels, even named his car
charming enough to actually have a contest with his friend as to how many guys he could kiss in one night
must be a good kisser (?)

And so we met, we talked, we had dinner and all. Not exactly drop dead gorgeous but I did notice he took the time to fix his hair. The car smelled good. He drove very carefully, not to mention offered to pick me up at my place.

It all went well, I even warmed up to him and held his hand by the gear while he drove (the sweaty palms I tried to understand) and when he finally dropped me off to call it a night, we kissed...

Errr... uhm... yeah... yun na yun? I was that disappointed.

He did angle his face so our noses won't bump. 
He did popped a mint after dinner.
He did closed his eyes, opened his lips enough, no tongue at first

... and he nibbled on my lower lip. Not bite. Nibbled. 

It felt like making out to a rabbit really.

I would usually gently bite the lower lip, but never nibble.

That's just weird. So was that the swoon-worthy-as-many-guys-a-night-at-the-bar-kind-of-kiss ???

And so we did manage to make a third date. That was the time we tried to take things a little higher.

I had to call off my weekend playmates. I have a movie date for crying out loud.

So he picked me up after my shift, took me to his pad to catch some snooze before the 1pm movie.

I always take a shower before bed. He didn't even bother to. I don't care really if you stay in an air conditioned office or drive your own car that's why you're not exposed to pollution when commuting like I do. I had to find my way to find a comfortable spot to lie in his bed. I can actually feel the metal bars on my body. 

and so I tried to kiss him again. Haaay... same thing. The rabbit kiss.

I can tell that he's trying to control himself not to grope me but ok, we're here, check the merchandise LOL (honglandeeeeeh!)

I really wanted it. Damn I waited for the weekend.

But the rest of it was a series of unfortunate foreplay.

I had to tell him at least 3x that I don't want hickies. NO NO NO NO NO !!!

But guess what happened!? I have one button sized hickey near my right nipple!?


Seth: "Sinabi ko naman sa iyo ayaw ko ng chikinini bakit nilagyan mo pa rin ako?" (galit na)

"Mawawala rin naman yan oh oh" (dinutdot pa ng thumb as if nagssmudge ng craypas/charcoal, thus, lalong masakit)

Seth: "Wag mo na nga hawakan at masakit na!"

"Bakit ka ba ganyan?"

Seth: "Eh sinabi ko naman kasing ayaw ko eh nilagyan mo pa rin ako!? Di ko maintindihan bakit mo ginawa yun? Eh amputi puti ko sobrang halata. I walk off topless sa bahay at paano naman sa gym? So I have a sex life pero I don't need evidence to show it off! Para ka lang gumamit ng banyo na di ka nagflush." (wtf)

"Kasi i really like giving hickies (may hangover ka pa ng highschool?) at for me it's a sign of passion na pag meron ka nun, akin ka na, at di ka na magagalaw ng iba..."

Naisip isip ko lang. Aba. Territorial. Minamarkahan ako. Inihian mo na lang sana ako, kasi yung ihi pwedeng hugasan, pero ang chikinini naiiwan ng ilang araw?

Sige fine. Sign of passion. Nyeta. So I made this deal with him. 

Seth: "Let's meet halfway ok?

If ever we get to do it again, and I sense you're gonna give me a hickey, I will tell you to stop and you should stop. Proceed any further, sasapakin kita"

"Kaya mong gawin sa akin yun?" (with matching puppy dog eyes)

Seth: "See this? Biceps and triceps. Notice how solid my thighs are? Pero, if ever in the middle of us doing it and I'm enjoying and nalagyan mo ako at di kita naawat I won't take it against you. Deal?"

.... pero naman? Do I always need to put my anti chikinini guard up all the time?

More nibbling. Sa nipple naman. Masakit.

He tried to finger me. Two. Bring it on.

But forcefully pressing me inside isn't exactly pleasurable.

Seth: "Aahh Arayyyy! Teka!"

"Anu na naman? Eh di ba power bottom ka?"

Amf. Di naman ako ATM buttons. Saka, I'm soft and squishy inside para dutdutin nang ganun na lang!

Big tummy. Small schlong that won't even go up. Nuff said. My ass is insulted. I decided to sleep alone in the sofa instead.

Maglalambing ako pag gusto ko. Di ako pusa na kikiskis na lang palagi.

So we were driving home now after spending the whooole day together. Nasa Aurora na kami. Stoplight. I was sitting quietly, a bit tired for I haven't gotten quality sleep since my shift. Nang biglang inakbayan ako at kinabig papunta sa kanya.

Kabig. Nakalog ang kawawang bottom.

Seth: "Ayy bakit?! May bala!? May pana!? Umiilag tayo?!"

"Anu ka ba? Bakit ka ganyan ayaw mo maglambing?"
Seth: "Anu ba gusto mo mangyari?"

...Ahhh ang gusto pala eh for me to lean in to his shoulder and sink.... OK

Eh bakit naman ako kailangan kabigin di bah!? He wants to take the opportunity kasi nga naman stop light, tinted ang wind shield, maulan, at .....romantic?

*ubo ubo*

Probably, after that I did a lot of thinking. I was cold to him after a week. I told him we'd talk soon in person.Hindi naman pala ganun kababa EQ niya and he kinda sensed where I was getting at. Text na lang daw.

Oh well. I had never been handled sooo roughly and not in a good way!

Maybe you are indeed a gentleman. Pero what really struck you is the fact that I'm a power bot and that you wanted to fuck me.

Oh well.

I said this before.

You had your chance ^^


  1. Aw. Kiss na lang kita. I can tie a cherry stem to a knot.

    Of course with the use of my fingers. LOL

    hay may mga tao puro salita lang...

  2. LOL may kilala ako nagagawa nga niya yun with her tongue. talented!

  3. Ay ang lungkot naman. Pero kung dating pala kayo at ganyan na siya, nakakatakot nga yan! Sana may respeto naman siya sayo. Yakap.

  4. @seth: is that you, ice queen? you were rather cold.. or maybe i just think that..

    anyway, i like the new DP.. really nice torso you got there.. and broad shoulders.. :)

  5. Aray naman sa number 4. Nasaktan naman ang beer belly ko.
    ikaw na ang balingkinitan!

    I was a bit bothered with the "Anu ka ba? Bakit ka ganyan ayaw mo maglambing?". I understsand that there are people who are very touchy or not malambing at all, but that doesn't mean that they feel for you is more or lesser, respectively. Though I don't think that forcing people to treat you as you wish is okay, especially if you are dating.

    di naman sa binabasag ko ang kapaitan mo, maybe there could've been more familiarity, a bit more connection before doing the deed.

    Well, here are some articles from the dynamic duo Geeky Guide and garapata:

    Hope they can help to everyone there.

  6. @ Drama King -- kung gentleman, sana gentle din sa paghawak sa akin. Hindi yung courtesies lang while in public

    @ Nate -- I was warming up to him, but with the physical trauma I went through... well.

    Yeah I was showing off my physique a bit with my callboy outfit LOL

    @Lanchie -- I got no issues with chubbies. Both my ex bfs were chubbies? I also sleep with chubby guys when I play around...

    as long as you're dick is big enough and not to be obscured by the belly. Yun lang.

  7. at tlagang tinapos ko basahin to ah hehe,,,,

  8. hello Seth. This is so funny. So full of shit pero it is so funny. Keep it up.!

  9. Ang harsh mo naman sa kanya Seth. *hahaha*

    Pero in fairness ha, umabot kayo sa third date bago mo isinuko ang Bataan.

    Bothered lang ako dun sa "rabbit kiss". *haha*

    At kung may beer belly siya and small schlong, ang swerte niya pa sayo huh. :P

    1. IKR. Pero siguro part of which di na maganda vibes ko sa kanya noon. Gusto lang nya ng trophy to complement him. What if it all faded away? Would he still want me? Baka maulit lang yung experience ko kay Mark at di hamak na mas mapride itong isang ito. Di ko rin maimagine na magtatagal ako pag maliit ang schlong LOL

    2. Sino kayang blogger to? Parang may idea ako... *hehe* Penge naman clue, please... :P