Wednesday, November 13, 2013

David 1.6

Effective Jan 1, 2011 kasabay ng pagsalubong ng bagong taon, susubukan kong magpakabait. Pinagbubura ko lahat ng mga fubu ko, binura lahat ng profile sa net, for the next 3 months, sarado muna ang tindahan.

Bakit ko nga ba ginawa yun? Iniisip ko kasi, para bang cleansing period. Lumipas na ako dun sa punto na galit ako. Marami na akong nakasex ng mga ilang buwan. Naalala kong bigla si David, baka sakali kung malaman at maipakita ko sa kanya na kaya kong magbago, baka sakali magustuhan na nya talaga ako...

Yun eh kung magpapakita sya sa akin?

Masyado siyang naging mailap. Sa loob ng 3 buwan na iyon, well, wala rin naman akong masyadong napala? Walang special na taong dumating. Anu natapus ko non?

#1 Sumexy ako nang bongga LOL Kinarir ko sa gym, nag audition as class instructor at pumasa naman :)

#2 Nakapasyal na ulit sa Boracay - Puerto Princesa. Dapat may Singapore - Bangkok pa pero sobrang sablay ang DFA.

#3 Nakalipat na ako sa sarili kong condo na pwede kong punuin ng sarili kong gamit at kahit kailan wala na pwedeng magpalayas sa akin kasi nakapangalan sa akin ang titulo. Bahay ko na ito.

Matapus ang lahat, malungkot pa rin? Uuwi ka ng bahay, wala naman sasalubong sa iyo kundi kama. Kaya pinlano kong mag alaga ng tuta. hehehe

So anu pa ba ang alam kong libangan na matagal kong tiniis? .... Balik na naman ako sa PR. Bolder than ever. Mas nilampasan ko pa ang dami ng nakukuha kong guys noon, lalo pa nung mas gumanda katawan ko.

Kung kelan naman maganda na momentum ko at nag eenjoy na akong muli, nag aya naman ng dinner si David. Walang special occassion. "Miss" na daw niya ako.

Nagkita kami sa Teriyaki Boy Gateway.

"Hey musta? Long time no see ah? Mas buff ka pa yata ngayun? hehehe"

I wish I could say the same to him. Pero may iba, parang may mali. Hindi ko alam kung may kinalaman sa work niya pero mukha siyang tuyo ang balat, nawala na din yung kislap sa mata nya. Mukha siyang pagod. 

"Anung nangyari sayu? Ngayun ka lang sakin nagpakita tapus parang haggard ka?"

Wala naman siyang itinago sa akin. Binigay niya lahat ng detalye. May natutunan siyang bagung bisyo. Sa kanya ko unang narinig ang "partee". 

Napaisip tuloy ako, "kasalanan ko ba kung bakit ginawa nya yun?". Hindi ako nakatulog nung gabing iyon. Hindi ko malaman kung selos ba o galit o awa mararamdaman ko. Sabagay, inabuso ko nga ang katawan ko hindi ba? Sinu ba naman ako para bawalan siya.

Pero asar pa rin ako. Sa lahat ng naging mga pasaring nya sa Facebook. Isang araw binura ko na lang siya. Nagulat akong napansin nya agad.

wow, i was deleted from your list.

It just occurred to me. We barely interact. We don't really have common friends? There's Jaffy but I only met him once and we barely spoke.  I only get hints of who you're seeing or dating whenever your attention to me wanes/fades away.You never kept your promise to see me on my important dates/plans/events.You just weren't there. Last thing I read was you already found love on FB. Kudos.Then that just means my job is done and you don't need me anymore. What would you keep me for?

ok... so you want to add me... pero can we REALLY TRY TO EXERT SOME EFFORT TO BE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY KNOW EACH OTHER?????
You tell me you're not the David I like anymore, but in truth I hardly even know you or any people around you at all? Then we have dinner one night and you disappeared for 6 months and bombard me with shocking details of what happened to you. That doesn't make up for anything nor does it work for me at all. I barely see you. I tell you when I'm free. You never wanted to meet me. Maybe more often than not you'd rather join your partee sessions and shit.
My statement remains the same. I'd rather not get hurt. I'd rather not probe or investigate. Everything I know will be coming from you and I will take it at face value. We keep our private lives until we're comfortable with each other again and I could relax to you. Natatakot kang mapalapit sa akin. Ako, ayaw ko na lumapit at masaktan. Ayaw mo rin naman akong lumapit, eh di jan ka na lang sa malayo.


(Mga ganitong klaseng tampuhan lang naman....)


September 24, 2011

Belated Happy Birthday!
Sooo... what's up? Inadd mo ulit ako after several months. By the looks of it mukhang "hunting" ka na naman? Why didn't it work out with Pavel?
Oh well, lagi ka naman may new prospect. 
Nag aadik ka pa rin ba? You look a lot more haggard now

haha, di ah. i was sick. nahospital ako lately.

suki ka naman nun
lugi na company at hmo sayu

haha, medyo! musta na?

im good. back to work na ulit. di ka naman nagbabasa ng blog ko eh

di na ko nagbabasa, last time i checked i was hurt. kaya ayun.

hurt kasi?

with how i was portrayed.

and how did i portray you?

basta. hehe.

oh well. i cant apologize for it if i cant recall. the reason why i stayed away is because you left me hanging for nothing. you said you loved me but then in reality, you were just simply enjoying flirting with guys and your drugs

that's not true!

anung hinde? like how many times have i tried asking you out this year compared to the single instance when we met just to get your nbi?
how many times have you told me that you left home but didnt go to work, simply lurking somewhere you wouldn't tell at all?
i told you of my plans, wanting you to be there, but i simply got empty promises.more often than not, when we build this momentum of communication, then it suddenly dies down, next thing i know there was:
emil
then paris
then pavel
whoever came in between/next, i dont want to know.

so what else do you need me for?
we managed to survive not talking for 3 mos. this is shorter compared to last year when you stayed away for 6 mos, then i meet you for dinner at Teriyaki Boy Gateway and you bombard me with shocking details of you life in one go. again, what else do you need me for?

now this made me sad. haay Seth

You called me keeper but then I have always been outside, far away from you and you made sure that it'll stay that way. I did try to change. Part of the reasons why I was on hiatus for three months was because I was trying to cleanse myself, to be worthy of you. Well, we both know how that turned out.
Let's just say I got tired of waiting and hoping. Doesn't matter to me anymore if you're here or not. 
You do take care in choosing the people you consider as friends. Stop taking drugs.

:(

take care. see u when i see u

......

Hindi ko rin naman siya natiis. Nung Pasko ding yun, binilhan ko siya ng yellow socks. 




Kung meron man akong dedicated song para kay David....




"If I told you" - Wedding Singer the Musical






*1.7 na po yung ending :)

3 comments:

  1. Tambay ka madalas sa Gateway huh... Malamang malapit ka lang din dun. :P

    Looking forward to the last. :) Good ending ba yan?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Apir Seth! Nung simula ng taong ito, meron din akong abstinence chenelyn, pero hanggang March lang, pagsapit ng April, boom! Pinakamatagal ko na yatang pag-aabstain ay 9 months. Laging every April nasisira ang vow kong yan.

    Anyway, uulitin ko mula sa part 1 kasi pa-skip skip ako. At hindi ako sunod sunod nagbasa. Kaya siguro hindi ko kilala si Joms...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hindi ko na kayang mag abstain nang ganun katagal? LOL Nanginginig na ako sa withdrawal the last time hahahah! Kinakaya ko lang ng 1 week dahil sa pagud from work but other than that I need to get my mushroom diet LOL

      Delete