Wednesday, July 20, 2011
clumsy confused chaotic etc etc etc
I'm really not in the mood.
I haven't written much recently for I fear I might pour out too much negativity in my output. In as much as I really want to meet up with friends and talk about it, I chose to distance myself a little bit, perhaps I can try to sort out things on my own.
I feel like almost everything I run into, gets hurt destroyed or damaged in one way or another.
I only got one job and my online business isn't doing as well as before. I actually lost about 75% of my clients and thus affecting my sales, because of certain news features.
A single text from Mark made me lose focus on whatever I intended to do for that day so I decided to sulk in bed and sleep on it.
I am careful most of the time, but for the past 24 hours I already accidentally stepped on two people's feet. It's embarrassing that I have to say as many "sorry's" while they're writhing in pain.
Twice have I resorted to alcohol just to shake it off and probably get a goodnight's sleep.
Two. People have I met through my blog. First one, didn't turn out very well.
Double. Me. Well, not exactly. I made up an "imaginary boyfriend" and used an extra sim that I have to text Mark and probe as to why he had to get in touch with me. He said it's got something to do with the remaining stuff I had at the condo. I don't intend to get them anymore. He'll be the one to decide how to get rid of them. Hope that'll be the last time I hear from him. Ever.
Twice have I gotten sick over a month's time with only two weeks in between and I am still coughing just as bad until now. My sister even told me I sound like my father when I cough and I noticed that myself. I never smoked at all.
Two. People whom I really really really really really really miss a lot. David and Jason :'(
It's already my third month within the company and I still have yet to prove that I can "do" outbound sales. I did happen to get lucky last week to hit my goal for three days so I got to take home a few goodies.
Thrice have I called in sick. Well, only once did I really feel ill enough to come to work. The other two, I just didn't feel like it? I know. Attitude. But I just don't see myself coming to work at all. I'm aware of the consequences. I love the people I work with. It's me who has these "issues".
Three months time. I'll be turning 27 soon. Not sure how I want my celebration? And I'll be missing two people again :'(
And when I thought I had everything planned out. I get distracted in the middle of it, trying to juggle everything, or lose all of it altogether ?!
Something I can't afford to happen. It shouldn't happen if I could help it.
I wish I was just dreaming. I have to deal with this soon. Real soon.