Past Forward

It's not an oxymoron but it might as well be. For this year, I don't really know what is the main core reason, but I have been trying to bridge the gaps between the past and the present. Recently, it have been immersing myself to   impulsive hobbies and tasks I used to set aside and made excuses for long ago.

As with last year, I started the year by reading my first novel. My mother started collecting novels and series of all sorts and none of them pre loved. If she likes an author or happens to be interested, she buys the entire catalog. How i wish I had that much money. I came across Paulo Coelho when an acquaintance from a Christmas party asked for his book as an exchange gift. Funny, for of all the titles he wrote, I picked "Eleven Minutes", and with my last post I was even puzzled as to what whores and blowjobs had anything to do with me? 

I am about to read his next book, the Alchemist, but I also promised myself to catch up with the Classics. I have yet to muster the patience to actually digest To Kill a Mockingbird. I managed to finish the Hunger Games trilogy through audiobook listening on my daily commute but even the audio version of the classic, not even the Southern accent of the narrator could hold my attention far too long.

My laptop is running on Windows Vista and after seeing the app improvements  on the W8 interface, mine feels frickkin' ancient already? In addition, the 150GB memory it used to boast then didn't seem enough to catch up with all the upgrades that drain it to a real time low. I barely have 10GB to work with. I still love my "entertainment system".Oh yeah,I bought a new TV too! Yey! I still don't watch local shows.I pretty much use it for movies, which further aggravates my memory problems.

I was very much surprised as to what I could find in Torrents! HD copies of almost any movie I want! In as much as I would like to catch u with literature,I kinda felt deprived of during the days I really didn't get to watch on the big screen or I had to wait until it is available on tape or there's a somewhat decent copy from a video taken inside a theater.

I started to look for titles such as: 

Little Nemo, all I recall was "pajama pajama!" and a scepter and a flying bed but couldn't recall the plot.

The Last Unicorn, I remember the scene when she was charging the Red Bull to retreat to the sea,but I also had no recollection of the story.

Pipi Longstocking, I can recall the first line from the chorus and a scene where she used two brooms and flew off like a chopper but again,never the plot. I'm sure I enjoyed it but how come I don't know why?

One more thing that is also eating up my memory would be, language. I'm trying to squeeze in any free time during my waking hours to study French. I am glad to find a material that I am finally comfortable and motivated to work with!

Lastly, if I added and tried to do so many things with my computer, I decided to take hiatus from Facebook. I vowed never to log in or update my profile for 30 days. One of the main reasons I liked FB was due to phototagging, liking, and comments. But recently I have been far too overwhelmed that people already had no censorship or discretion as to what they wish to share. Scandals, violence, and other disturbing thoughts and images shared impulsively. Before, photos of food can only be seen on magazines, but people nowadays take photos of almost every meal and drink they take? Where they checked in, who they are dating, the plans for the weekend, who they are with, etc etc etc. I am witnessing their lives unfold, but I feel like I failed to take part of it? Sometimes I feel like we are all connected, but still alone. I'm sure you might have seen this somewhere: you see a group of people gathered around a table, all quiet and tinkering with their small screens and barely interacting with each other.

I choose not to participate with that.

So, perhaps this year my theme is to catch up with my life. Recap the past, see if there was anything possibly significant that I have missed. I don't think I'd appreciate Powder (1995) then if I had seen it, but I am glad to watch it now. Maybe I'm getting all too excited about nearing my 30's? Am I crazy or what?

I have not yet made a fortune. I have not yet realized my dreams. But I feel like, compared before when I feel sluggish and procrastinating, suddenly, 24 hours doesn't seem enough and my brain is pouring and absorbing almost anything like a sponge.

And so we all missed yet another failed Doomsday prediction, but we still wouldn't really know when it will be?

I don't care anymore.

I have finally made the choice to live.