Seth on Rage Mode

Rage mode in Tekken lingo means that when your health meter is running to a dangerous low, a red "aura" is radiating from the limbs and each hit would have an additional 10% damage than the normal.


That is what I went through just yesterday.


I have already been far too tired taking exams and gym practices either before or after shift, and I even had to squeeze time for a monthsary dinner, rounds of lovemaking, and more strolling at the malls.


My past is haunting me. People that is.


First there's Jason. He slowly crawled his way back into my life, asking for "help" on how to deal with his relationship. He hasn't changed much. His skin worse than before. Self esteem to an all time low. Miserable as ever. If there was one thing he did remember the last time we spoke, it's to get himself a puppy instead of spending his time and money on someone who doesn't love him back but asks him for material things and favors regardless. Mind you, they don't even have sex that often. He's just THAT lonely. He's not getting anything from the relationship rather than someone to call his own, but isn't really behaving as such. When he blocked me from Facebook for no apparent reason, and he replied "who you?" thrice in two weeks time, it wasn't difficult for me to drop him. One less person to worry about. One sad person bringing me negativity out of my life. Now, I decided to stop being too nice and friendly and just bombard him with sarcasm. He never appreciated my advice anyway? 


Then there's David. The guy whom I was waiting for all this time to be mine but he was just far too distant for me to trust and all. He's in yet another failed date. We haven't spoken for months. Now he's back, trying to reconnect, until such time he finds someone else to keep him busy, he'll slowly wean from our conversations once more. Not gonna happen again.


Plus, the guy who has been stalking me through text, harrassing me and everything, how he chose me and why I do not know. After 6 mos he just thought of checking back with me.


But wait there's more!? MARK !? Just when I though we already agreed not to communicate, he sends me news that the father of our common friend had brain surgery. Why couldn't she have told me herself? I had to diss Mark then not to get in touch with me at all. EVER. My birthday would be nearing soon and I do hope he doesn't greet me at all.












Why now? Why do I still have to put up with the past when all the while I thought I have forgotten how it hurts?